The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
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mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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