So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
