i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
