Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
