please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
