well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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