i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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