I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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