I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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