He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
