he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize