I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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