she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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