That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
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What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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