He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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