Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
