i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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