Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
worst night to have a conscience
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
