you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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