The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
