i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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