So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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