Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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