i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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