It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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