I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
