He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
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at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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