they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
