We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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