just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
