The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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