Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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