did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
