Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
