no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
how drunk are you?
Several
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
