so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
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lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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