Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
