She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
