this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
