I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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