so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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