PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
