omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
