Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
