So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
