lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
