well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
