We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
