Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
