I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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