Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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