I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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