you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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