fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just forgot I was standing up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
