i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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