so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
