Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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