I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dick very happy bro
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