Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
