I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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