and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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